Caecus
by SeveredHalo
Summary: She was always blind. She knew that. Karin-centric. STILL BEING RE-WRITTEN.


Karin tried to think back to when it all went wrong.

She remembers being the small, scrawny redheaded girl sternly focusing chakra control, trying to sense the feels and colors it could reflect. Or wrapping slim fingers around a kunai, but being too blind to get a straight target. She got her glasses that week. Her father told her she looked just as pretty with them as she did without.

_I wish I'd gotten contacts._

With the blurriness cleared and a graduated genin, she took the Chunin Exams. She remembers the cool and handsome dark-haired boy who saved her from that bear. _"So you have an Earth scroll too, huh?"_ And he smiled at her. Even though, her squad didn't pass as Chunins, she remembers biting her lip and blushing at the memory, when her teammate asked her why she was acting so strange, she fixed her glasses and waved it off.

A few days after the exams, her village was attacked. She knew it was coming. She had ability. She could sense chakra. When the twelve year old rushed to tell the shinobi forces, they laughed at her.

_No one ever did listen to me._

A brief bloody battle then burned to the ground. Her village. Her _home. _She remembers her father fighting in the war, screaming at her from a far distance to run far away and hide. She doesn't remember much after that, except for her father's torso being sliced nearly in half. And she _saw_ it.

Karin ran. She ran as far as her legs would take her. She found a small stump by a cave and a river. That's when the man with long hair and yellow eyes found her. He kindly asked her how she survived.

"_I knew they were coming."_

"_You knew?"_

"_I can sense chakra."_

That's when he took her in. Never has he heard of any sensor-nin that can sense chakra from THAT far away. Trained her a bit, and then assigned her as guardian of one of his prison bases. Still sent her on missions, but she just stood there, waiting and honestly, bored.

Sasuke Uchiha. That was the handsome boy's name. "_That chakra…This guy is so cool!" _His chakra was a bit darker than before, but it was totally fine with her.He had once again protected her. She became infatuated with him. After the mission was over, she forgot for a bit. Her time falling back into its old boring regime as Guardian of the Iron Wall.

She was 16 when Sasuke Uchiha asked her to join his team. She wanted to, but with Suigetsu Hozuki? And _Jugo_? This wasn't Karin's first infatuation. People just didn't understand that Karin was awfully flirtatious. Only when isolated with the current person. She wasn't a whore. She tried telling herself that. But with that shark-boy around, it made that seem delusional. Karin locked the door, sauntered towards him, knees shaking, trying to make him notice something more provocative than she had when she was 12. He didn't buy it. But being around his chakra was enough, so she agreed to join Sasuke's team.

And she did. Following Sasuke, just waiting for that moment where he would smile at her like he did before. She wasn't realizing she was trying too hard. Between stealing his shirts, toothbrushes, _Ahem_ (Suigetsu's) and even her own dignity, she barely realized she had severely damaged her credibility.

Later that year, Hebi was renamed Taka. They started associating with the Akatsuki. Karin was hesitant about that. She wasn't evil. She never wanted to be. They were S-rank missing nin. But then she remembered.

_So was I._

They fought Killer B. Suigetsu and Jugo were captured. Sasuke took Karin with him and fled. Sasuke told her it was just better to leave them there, and he needed his medic to keep him alive. Drunk on his aura around her, she agreed. It couldn't be so bad. She could now be finally alone with Sasuke. Suigetsu hated her. She could sense Jugo hated her. ..

_And Sasuke hated me too._

It honestly got to a point where she hated herself. She wondered that if maybe she left him, he wouldn't notice. When they fought Danzo, Sasuke didn't even think twice before piercing the side of her breast to stab Danzo. He said he had to sacrifice. She was the sacrifice.

"_See ya."_

All she did was help him. That's all she ever did. She tried to, at least. And this blatantly shows his returning gratitude.

_Sasuke Uchiha is the most fucking selfish person in existence. _

Shock and struggle was quickly replaced by pain. It was a different pain, per say. At first it was like a needle pricking, for a few moments it was cold and felt a little bit of pressure, but then it felt like her flesh was being pulled apart. And it hurt.

She was so stupid. If Karin could leave her body she would kicking herself in the face right now. She wanted to end her life now, before she faced the Chidori. A small smile graced her features as he was about to end her life, but stopped abruptly. A pink haired kunoichi that was assumingly Sasuke's former teammates. "Sasuke-kun! I'm coming with you!"

_She still loves him?_

Karin knew she was blind. She knew that. People always told her she was. The redhead used her last bits of energy to open a matching eye. There was a small crack on the left frame of her glasses. Minutes passed, it felt like seconds, but soon enough she felt herself being lifted onto a gray-haired man's shoulder. Her wound felt lukewarm and sticky, which was strange. It felt, honestly, it felt a lot better than it had just 30 minutes ago. Somebody had healed her. She wasn't sure who, but whoever they are, she knew she had to thank them. Even if she didn't want to.

Karin was brought to Konohagakure, and interrogated for a while. While being jailed, feigning mental instability really wasn't helping her case more or less. She had a relatively short sentence after having a successful pleading. Then two months of probation.

And then Karin got her leaf headband. It felt nice to belong somewhere. Although, Kusagakure would never detatch from her heart. She liked Konoha. The weather was nice. The people were even nicer. She made good friends with one of the interrogator's daughter, Ino. She had found her "cousin" Naruto. He was so shocked there was another Uzumaki it was amusing. Out of nowhere he lifted her up and spun her around in the middle of the street yelling, "Yosh! Us Uzumaki's stick together! DATTEBAYO!"

Karin blushed mildly, pushed up her glasses and straightened out her top. This one was a brown long sleeved midriff turtleneck. Revealing nothing but her flat stomach and concealing her bite marks.

_I always hated that ugly purple man's shirt._

She went on missions, found a simple apartment, made a decent living, even living alone, but she's… happy.

_This is the place he wanted to destroy?_

Karin knew that if Sasuke came back to crush the Leaf, she would fight back. This was her _home. _She remembers her father telling her,

"_A shinobi doesn't fend for themselves; but for their comrades, their village, and their home."_

And now, even at 19, turning 20 in 4 days, Karin felt as if she'd done nothing. Wasted nearly 5 years of her life working with Orochimaru and Sasuke.

_There are so many things I want to do in life._

But she can't. As she faces her reflection, studying every flaw, everything beautiful, she feels her blood pressure rise. She grabs some painkillers from the cabinet and lies on her bed. She can't decide, thought, if it's supposed to be a big middle finger to the face, or a final indication of her love.

With her final breaths, Karin Uzumaki makes her decision. It's a combination of both.

It really wasn't as if anyone had ever liked her anyways.


End file.
